Way of the Peaceful Warrior

     The reason I started this blog was to be more intentional in my parenting.  I refer to this as warrior parenting because my daughter is at war with Cystic Fibrosis.  I needed to prepare her for the tough times ahead…giving her the skills necessary to win this battle!   So I am feeling a bit of a failure lately because my daughter seems unhappy.  She is right in the midst of some of these struggles and my warrior parenting is being tested.   I am wondering if it coming up short.   

     She has learned the physical disciplines of fighting the disease:  the day in and day out routine of medical treatments combined with the usual responsibilities of being a kid.   However it looks like we are now entering a new phase of training: the mental and emotional strengthening that will allow her to focus on living life and loving others and not focus on her current circumstances.  I am teaching her a completely different type of discipline to use when battling the mental component of CF.  When things start to seem scary and overwhelming I ask her to focus on what is good in her life.   When you are able to refocus on the good things (trust me you have something) then it becomes easier to find happiness.

     It is no surprise to me that this teaching is found in the Bible.  In Philippians 4: 6-7 God tells us how to get “peace that passes all understanding” Seriously?  I mean that info has just been sitting there for thousands of years for anyone to read?  This is what EVERYONE is looking for!   If this gets out drug dealers will be out of business, bars will sit empty, home shopping channel off the air…but surely this teaching is obscure and therefore impossible to interpret.  Let’s see...”Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in everything by prayer and humility with thankfulness present your requests to God and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart”.  How can something so simple remain out of reach for so many? The key to this mystery it that little word humble.   Humility is this beautiful state of letting go of the mentality that if you don’t take care of yourself nobody will.  This is the curse of mankind….this “kill or be killed” mentality we have taken on.   That super focus on self-preservation that creates so much of the strife we have in life.  God says “trust”.  Trust that you can take the focus off yourself for a minute and it will still be okay, God’s got your back! 

     God allowed Bella to have Cystic Fibrosis but He says her life can have as much joy and fulfillment as anyone else’s.   Trusting and believing this is the only way she will be able to get through the difficulties CF is throwing at her.   Look at it this way...God teaches us our best lessons about life when we go through pain and suffering.   We also find out the best part of our character in the ways we reach out to those who are suffering.  So if you think about it, trouble is a necessary part of life.   But we spend so much time running away from it.  I know I did.  I thought life was meant to be easy and pain free.   I avoided anything that could cause pain…which resulted my living a life “less lived”.   I can attest that since having Bella, and all the pain we have gone through because of this disease, my life is more lived and more joyful. 

     I don’t know what is making Bella unhappy but I have a few guesses: her parents separated, she has a scary disease, she wonders if she is pretty, worries if she’ll be popular, will she do okay on the test, will she have to go back in the hospital, is a needle going to be involved in ANY WAY at ANY TIME.   These are probably just a few of the things running through her mind.    But whatever she is going through I need to show her that just because “bad” things are happening doesn’t mean her life is bad.   I want to teach her that, while her life is full of lots of sad and scary things, this pain is not going to prevent her from having the joyful life she desires…it might even turn out to be the shortest path to get there.